


Off the leash - A dog's tale

by Charona



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: A diary (in a sense), Dogs match their owners, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Getting to Know Each Other, Hook-Up, Humans are strange, I'm a cat person though, It's official I have lost my mind, M/M, POV Dog, Roskilde, This is un-taggable, monaco, she calls humans "impractical apes"
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2020-10-14 14:44:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20602529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charona/pseuds/Charona
Summary: a.k.a. Elsa tells us her owner's love story and why dogs are the best matchmakers.This is a story told from Elsa's point of view and shows us how she views the world, Kevin's tattoos and that terrible Pom Zeus, that all of a sudden challanges her for the tastiest pigeons in Monaco.





	1. The one about thumbs, fur and home

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks!
> 
> I'm back from vacation and what can I say? Ireland offers so many beautiful landscapes and so many cute animals (sheep, goats, horses, dogs, cats, chickens, cows), that I finally lost my last two brain cells and I wrote THIS. 
> 
> Special thanks to **londonbird** for being an inspiration for titles and being her typical lovable self ;) <3

My name is Elsa and I am a dog.  
I’m a brown Staffordshire Bullterrier.  
And I live in Denmark. I like Denmark, because my family lives here and I’ve never been anywhere else. Denmark has beaches, where I can chase seagulls and forests with the biggest sticks in the whole world (at least I can’t imagine them getting any bigger!) and it snows in the winter. I love the winter because that’s when Kevin is home a lot and we can cuddle on the living-room-bed from sunrise to sunset! 

Oh, you want to know, who Kevin is? He is the best ear-scratcher and belly-rubber and can-opener there is, because he has thumbs and he always knows how to pet me and he is a human of course.  
My human.  
My partner. 

You know, humans are very interesting. They are loud and huge and, imagine that, they don’t have a tail! And no fur! In order to stay warm they have to cover themselves in layers of other animal’s fur and they call it “clothes”. It’s a strange concept, because they do have fur on their heads and their arms… They actually look like apes in some ways (I once met an ape at the Zoo, a place where animals watch humans, but he was mean, because he threw a banana at me.). But they also walk on two legs, which makes them slow and I find it very impractical.  
Sometimes Kevin takes me for a run in the park and he can run very fast for a human, but I could easily outrun him, when he is already slowing down again. I always pretend to be very tired when we come home, though, so he doesn’t feel too bad about himself.  
Unfortunately Kevin is away a lot. He is a “F1 driver”. I don’t really know, what that means, but he has to travel a lot and he smells very strange every time he comes home again. “F1” smells of cars and other people and rubber. Maybe it’s his job to drive other people from place to place or he tests screwdrivers to make them safer for dogs to chew. Or he drives a carriage (but I never smelled horses on him…). Maybe he just drives around cars in a town called “F1”? I think, that sounds boring, because there are so many cars in Roskilde already and they all smell very bad.  
At least he gets paid a lot and can buy the best food and beds for the both of us. 

I learned that money is colourful paper with pictures on it or tiny pieces of metal (you shouldn’t eat them, though, it makes you sick!). It’s very important to humans and they trade it for food at a place called “ALDI”. 

Humans tend to have dogs (some crazy ones even have cats) and they call us “pets”. Maybe because they love to pet us so much and lions or whales or ants are impossible to pet? Anyway, it’s normal for a dog to be adopted at some point of his life and live with his human forever. 

The day I found out about that was a really special day, because before that I only knew my mother and my siblings.  
And it’s the day, I met Kevin.  
He let me smell his hand and petted me very cautiously. He bared his teeth at me, but he smelled good and was so warm, that I fell asleep in his arms. I later on learned that humans call baring their teeth “smiling” or “grinning” and it’s so strange, but they do it to comfort each other or to ease their embarrassment, when they spill coffee on the carpet.  
Anyway, when I woke up, he was gone, but sometime later he returned and took me with him. It was sad to leave my family behind and sometimes I miss them very much, but I learned that humans can be my family, as well. 

I learned so many things since I’ve been with Kevin!  
Humans have toes and you are not allowed to clean them too roughly! You’re not allowed to bark at the mailman, although he smells very suspicious.  
Stealing food from the floor is bad. Stealing food from the kitchen counter is worse. Stealing food from Kevin’s plate is okay.  
Children are easily scared, so you must never (never!) jump at them. I’m still sorry, I frightened Kevin’s little brother.  
Cleaning your human’s hands is good, but not their faces (I sometimes clean Kevin anyway when he sleeps.)!  
Chocolate is evil!  
Humans are very social, but they need their time alone, too, so don’t follow them into the wet-room of the apartment, where it rains in one corner sometimes. I know, it’s warm in there, but humans are very sensible about being without their clothes. (Maybe they are embarrassed because of their missing fur?)  
Humans love that black mirror in their living rooms and the pictures it shows them sometimes. They can sit in front of it for hours! It’s too bright and too loud for my sensible ears, though.  
Flowers smell nice but getting too close will make you sneeze.  
Bees are evil. Not as evil as chocolate, but they are a close second.  
Some humans have pictures on their skin and you can’t lick them off! I know, it sounds weird, but they call them “tattoos” and Kevin has the most beautiful picture on his chest and his arm! 

Whenever Kevin is away, Louise looks after me and I love her! She is blond, too, like most people I know, and very nice. She always feeds me a bigger portion and calls me a “prinsesse”.  
But no one could ever replace Kevin!  
I love it, when he comes home and kneels down in the hallway and hugs me. No matter how strange he smells and how tired he looks, he always makes sure to cuddle me tightly and kiss me. I know I shouldn’t jump at him, but I miss him so much, whenever he’s away!  
Louise always leaves us alone pretty quickly, although I can tell, that she secretly wants to stay. She sends those signals we she-dogs send male dogs. She smiles and is shy and if she had a tail, she’d wiggle it constantly!  
But Kevin isn’t the smartest human, I’m afraid, because he doesn’t get it, no matter how many times I nudge him in Louise’s direction.  
Maybe he just doesn’t want to get it. 

I’m afraid, Kevin isn’t just alone most of the time, but he really is lonely.  
No one should be lonely, there are too many great things in the world that are more enjoyable with others around (food, sticks, chasing seagulls, forests, sleeping).  
What if I can help him with finding his partner? My human’s human, so to speak?  
I’ll get back to you as soon as I found someone. There are so many apartments in Roskilde, it can’t be so difficult to find a matching partner!  
One thing is for sure: She must be blond and have a dog.


	2. The one about pigeons, balconies and complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my favorite beta-girl **londonbird** for the great trinity of Inspiration, Motivation and Praise.   
It's so much fun to brain-storm and simply talk to you, thanks, dear <3 ;) 
> 
> A second HUGE thanks goes out to **QuagswaggingRosaNautica** and **speechbubble** for all the great and uplifting comments, you guys rock and make me believe in this strange little scribble! 
> 
> Enough of me, let's welcome Elsa back to the stage ;)

I tried my best to find my human’s human.   
Every time Kevin and I would be out for a run or finding food in “ALDI” I would look for a female, who could be his partner forever. But most of them didn’t smell right and that’s the most important thing, isn’t it? Or they weren’t interested in Kevin, which is a total mystery to me. (I mean, he _is_ the best belly-rubber and can-opener in the world?!)

One time a small brown-furred female approached us and asked for an autograph (a small scribble on a piece of paper… what?), which I didn’t understand, but it seemed to amuse Kevin. I tried to take a closer look at her, but she looked terrified and excited at the same time – it reminded me of myself meeting Kevin’s little brother for the first time… and we know, how that ended!  
So I pulled Kevin away from her and growled a little bit, because what if she jumps at Kevin? He isn’t a tall human, she could hurt him and I’ll never let that happen!   
Back outside Kevin scratched my ears and laughed at me.   
“Don’t be so jealous, kage. Someday you’re going to have to share me with someone.”  
_As long it’s not her._ I huffed. In that second someone, a tall blond male, walked past us and caught Kevin’s attention. He stared at the stranger’s back and sighed, before he attached my leash again.   
“Sometimes it’s complicated, you know?”  
I didn’t. And if only I knew, things were going to get so much more complicated!

Something happened. A _huge_ change of events!   
You won’t believe me, but I found out, who “F1” is!   
It’s a city near the ocean, but unlike Roskilde it’s warm and sunny and it smells of great food. There are hills and _so_ many boats. I learned by now, that boats are huge tubs that swim in the harbour. Humans like to drink on them and listen to music. 

But our travel to “F1” was quite stressful. Kevin had to bring me to the vet and although I love her very much, because she always has treats in her huge white pockets, I could feel Kevin’s nervousness. I tried to cheer him up by being the best dog possible and even let the nice vet check my teeth. 

A while later we went to a huge building, where birds made of metal were lined up outside!   
I was very brave for Kevin despite the noise and strong smell of thousands of humans, because he was visibly anxious about something. I licked his hand and walked very close to him in order to protect him. Then the vet gave me a nice and creamy treat. Unfortunately it made me very dizzy and as soon as I was locked into a big box, I fell asleep. 

When I woke up, I was in an apartment that smelled strangely familiar, but wasn’t our home. Kevin sat on the floor next to me and he had fallen asleep. I still felt drowsy, but it was getting better already. I examined the apartment and it’s definitely Kevin’s, because his smell is everywhere.   
And imagine that, it has a little room, which is outside! You enter it through a glass door (glass doors are evil, too, but only in third place – after chocolate and bees) and it doesn’t have walls. I was quite scared and it got even worse when I looked down. It doesn’t have a floor! It just hovers there at the side of the building. I got so afraid, I whined! Kevin didn’t hear me and could catch up sleep, he needed very much. I soon left the creepy hover-floor, curled up next to him and we took a little nap together. 

A very tasty lunch later on Kevin and I were taking a walk down to the beach. Kevin sat down on a bench and explained the boats to me and what we are doing here.   
“You know, I have an apartment here as well, so I don’t have to travel all the way up to Roskilde on weekdays. Most of the drivers live here and I thought, I’d show you some of the places, I visit.”  
He scratched my ear and leaned back, squinting against the bright sun.   
I leaned into his touch to show him, I appreciated his trust, when I saw a pigeon coming down the pavement. 

You know, I hate pigeons. They are cheeky and aggressive. They would attack me with their sharp beaks and they are pretty good at aiming at noses and eyes…   
This one had a strange dialect, but it wasn’t particularly polite either, so I crouched down to strike it with a well-aimed blow, as soon as it was close enough. I crawled towards the swearing pigeon, claws lifted so they wouldn’t make a sound, tail flat to be more aerodynamic during the jump… just another second and that tasty pigeon will be mine and pay for all the stolen bread crumps… just another second… 

suddenly.

“Lalalala… Sunny day, lalala, Nico with me, ah, so beautiful.”  
_Wait… what?!_

The pigeon startled and flew up, when a small Pomeranian pranced down the dock, obviously oblivious and completely objectionable. A deep growl rose up in my throat and I could only stare as the small ball of fluff approached us. 

“Hey, what are you looking at?” he asked and wiggled his pompous, over-sized tail.   
“Are you kidding me?!” I hissed. “You just scared off the pigeon I was hunting!”

“Oh, come one, of all people?!” Kevin murmured and I blinked at his tone in confusion.   
But of course, Kevin didn’t hear me talk, he just reacted to the small ball’s owner, who was a tall blonde male.   
I don’t know much about human beauty and their understanding of it, but he was beautiful. Something in his dark-grey eyes made it impossible for me to look away. Dominant, captivating and at the same time he carried himself with an incredibly annoying arrogance – just like his cur, who eyed me blatantly and quite frankly without a touch of politeness. 

Kevin’s shoulders dropped and he sighed in the way he sighs when I steal enough food from his plate and he decides to get himself a new one. But at the same time there was something in his eyes I have never seen before. He looked up and met the other’s gaze, headstrong and dominant. 

I instantly set back my ears when I realized, that two Alphas have just met each other.   
And they have history. 

“Magnussen.”  
“Hülkenberg.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “kage” means “cake” in Danish and I thought it would be a cute nickname for a chocolaty-brown (brownie-ish?) dog. 
> 
> What do you think, guys? 
> 
> Have a great week, take care and read you soon!  
Charona


	3. The one about politeness, alphas and paddocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks!  
After a LONG absence (You know, cold, university, the not-so-bright side of life^^), here I am with a new chapter of the “doggos”.  
This especially goes out the **Quagswagging** for the shout-out on tumblr and general awesomeness :DD 
> 
> Have fun and tell me what you think of this first collision ;)

_“Magnussen.”_  
_“Hülkenberg.”_

_

“What are you doing here?”  
“I live here.” Kevin groaned and I lifted my flews to show my white and sharp-edged teeth in order to show I was willing to fight if need be. Everything for Kevin. Always.

“You smell interesting... Where are you from?”  
I was more interested in the conversation the two humans had than that little rubber ball of fur examining my paws. He licked them and I tore them away quickly. _Gross_! 

“I thought, you’re spending the summer in Denmark.” The beautiful tall male said to Kevin, squinting his eyes against the sun. Kevin sighed, but kept his guard up – arms crossed, knuckles around the leash white.  
“Yeah, change of plans. I wanted to have some quiet days in the sun before we have to go to Australia.”

“Hey, I’m Zeus and you?”  
“I’m not.”

“Yeah, I get that.” The tall man said and clicked his tongue. He looked so tense, I expected him to jump at Kevin at any second. “I spent some time in Emmerich, but it’s better to prepare here for the rest of the season, with my trainer and all.”  
“Mh.” Was all, Kevin said and I stared at him intently, alternately looking at my human and the tall blonde. _What’s going on here?!_

“Oh she’s cute. What’s her name?”

“I’m a pitbull… I don’t do “cute”.” I growled and set back my ears a little farther, just to make sure the message came across. The stranger just kept grinning at me and ruffled the fur at the back of my neck.  
“Her name’s Elsa.” Kevin nodded at my warningly raised tail. “She’s a good judge of character.”  
Damn right, I am, but… man, he’s actually pretty good at petting me….  
“You should bring her to the paddock sometimes.”  
Kevin snorted in the way he does, when he’s too annoyed to laugh and at the same time finds it incredibly amusing.  
“Do you really think, a Formula One paddock is the right place for a dog?” If sarcasm was a liquid it would drip from Kevin’s words. The tiny Pomeranian jumped around his legs so loudly I nearly couldn’t understand the “Berg’s” response. 

“Hey do you want to play with me?”  
“No, leave me alone.”

“Zeus loves it. All the buzzing and attention, right, Junge?”  
“Well, he’s clearly not the only one, isn’t he?”  
I’ve seen alphas meet before. It’s scary to watch because everything can happen, from low growling to a grown fight with sharp claws. We bite and scratch to show who is in charge, who owns the sofa or the ducks in the park. Dogs have a very direct way of communication, a clear system of signals and warnings, before it comes to a fight. I only witnessed one, when I was a puppy. My mother defended us from the male dog threatening to hurt us. She bit his neck so severely it started to bleed. The humans looking after us were shocked, because they didn’t understand the warnings my mother had sent before things escalated.  
Humans usually handle this differently. They fight, too, but just as a last resort, when everything else fails. Instead of biting each other with teeth, they use their words to hurt each other. Mean words, screaming and sarcasm, which is, when you say something and mean the opposite. (I don’t really know, why they are doing it, but… they are humans. The dog who understands them has to be bred first.)

They stared at each other intently and the tall blonde clicked his tongue again.  
“Yeah, well, when you’re as good looking and successful as me you can enjoy the attention, right?”  
Kevin scoffed and his eyes looked like sharpened steel all of a sudden.  
“You really think, you’re better than me, don’t you?”  
“I don’t think that, I _know_ it.” 

I evaded the blonde’s touch this time and set back my ears a little farther. This didn’t sound good.  
They kept staring at each other and I saw Kevin pressing his lips shut, a fair warning to the other human that he was about to cross a line.

until –  
“HEY!” I snapped at the tiny cur, as he tried to sniff my butt. 

“Whoa…” Kevin and Nico exclaimed in unison and Kevin pulled at my collar.  
“Kage, no! Hey, that’s no way to treat others!” _right, so that’s why you nearly tore the “Berg” apart just seconds ago?!_  
I grumbled and huffed and let go of the small dog, who winced dramatically. He lifted the paw I snapped theatrically and his eyes widened to the size of saucers. I rolled my eyes. 

“That wasn’t nice! Aua…”  
“I never tried to _nice_. I asked politely, now get lost.”

I didn’t even know, why I was so angry. He was so annoying and the arrogance of his human only made things worse. 

“Alright, we’re off. Kage, come on.”  
“You better do. And get your cur under control. If she hurt Zeus, I’m going to send you the vet check, just so you know.”  
“Yeah, whatever.” 

Kevin pulled me along and I marked the bench the last time just for good measure. 

Around the next corner Kevin stopped and kneeled down in front of me, hands on my cheeks and eyes filled with worry and reproach, just as if I had stolen cake from his plate.  
“Kage, what were you thinking?”  
_He was mad at you. I don’t like people being mad at you._  
“I know, you want to protect me, but… Elsa, you can’t bite Zeus.”  
_Why not? He’s terrible._  
“He’s small and loud, yes, but you can’t run around biting people’s dogs. I taught you better. And about Nico…”  
_What about him? Why do you look so sad? Kevin?_  
“It’s difficult between him and me. We collided once, you know? Literally. On track. It was bad.”  
I didn’t get it, why would they run into each other while jogging through the park? Was this something related to “F1”? Does “F1” have parks, too?  
“I think, he hates me. Which is sad, because I really, really believe he’s not that much of an asshole as he lets on. I think, he could be…”  
_Tell me, I’m listening!_  
“Nevermind, kage. There’s nothing you could do and it’s fine the way it is. Do you want to go for a swim?”  
His smile is back and with it the beauty of this sunny afternoon. He kisses my forehead and fondles my ears until I almost drool (very unladylike, uugh!). 

“Anyway, he would deserve a kick in the ass – or a bite in your case.”

A last sigh, before Kevin adjusts his sunglasses again and rearranges the leash. 

“But it is a nice ass, isn’t it?”

_How would I know?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Junge” means “boy” in German. I heard Nico call Zeus that a couple of times^^ 
> 
> [I'm still **charonaraccoon** on tumblr.]


	4. The one about pretending, plans and partners in crime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! 
> 
> Oh my goodness, me, this story is killing me! I love writing it, but I’m so stressed with Christmas coming up and all, it’s really hard to focus on a cheeky and nosy she-dog^^ 
> 
> I just realised that dogs are more or less colour-blind and Elsa talks about colours later on… let’s just ignore that >_<  
Other than that, I hope you guys have fun with this chapter and _yes_, a tad of drama and sass entailed ;D

We stayed in F1 together. It was really nice here, but way too warm for my liking. I had to pant a lot because of the heat and then I was drooling and it was all a mess and I didn’t really like it.  
Kevin on the other hand really liked the sun and laying on the hover-floor outside, until he turned red like a lobster and hissed a lot.  
It’s weird, that the sun can burn people, because it’s not really a flame or one of those red rings on the black square in the kitchen. The sun is just that bright white thing in the sky, you know?  
I know that this is called sunburn and it’s very serious, because I once got it as well! On my nose! And then you can’t smell properly for days and the cooling paste Kevin rubbed into it smelled really bad and tasted even worse. 

Other than that we had a great time! We went to the beach and played in the sand (the sticks in Roskilde are still better, though!) and we went to restaurants and Kevin fed me the best fish I’ve ever tasted!

I almost forgot about the annoying ball of fluff and its huge human, until one night the doorbell rang. 

We were laying on the couch after a long day outside and shopping (noisy plastic bags are beautiful!) and I felt Kevin slowly falling asleep underneath me. His breathing evened out and the hand on my head grew heavier with every passing second.  
Suddenly there was a sharp ring and I almost fell off the couch from my own surprise at the loud noise and from Kevin jolting awake.  
“What the hell…” he murmured and staggered to his feet. I knew, I shouldn’t bark and I was too tired for that anyway, but I followed him into the hallway, stretching in the door to get ready to fight, if need be and… 

Need be. Definitely. 

It was the tall blonde, but he didn’t look that tall with his fur a flat mob and clothes deranged – he almost looked like Kevin on an early morning at home, when I drop the newspapers on his chest to wake him up and play fetch. Just not as handsome… maybe…  
“Hallo, sorry, I know, it’s late, something’s wrong with Zeus.”

“What?” I could see all the questions flickering over Kevin’s face in a split-second. That’s interesting about humans, they have a variety of facial expressions and sometimes they mix them up, too. Now Kevin was supposed to close the door with a huff and return to the couch with me – quality time! Instead he stood in the doorframe and stared up at the blonde, worry and doubt clouding his bright eyes.  
“What happened?” he asked again, while the German (Kevin explained it to me, they mostly work a lot and drink a lot of beer) shifted from one foot to the other and looked terribly insecure.  
“I don’t know. He just stopped eating yesterday. I thought, it was because of the heat, but he’s not better yet. I was out with friends tonight and when I came back, he was still laying on the sofa, breathing heavily.”  
_Idiot_, I thought.  
“Idiot.” Kevin said, adding “You left your visibly sick dog alone and went out to have _dinner with friends_?!”  
Now there was the reaction, I wanted to see, Kevin gripping the doorknob tighter, ready to throw the door shut in an instant. 

Nico’s shoulders dropped and now he truly looked miserable. I could see, that he contemplated explaining himself to Kevin like a puppy tries to defend himself for peeing in the corner of the flat (young bladders are a catastrophe, I can tell you!), but he shook his head in the end, wiped his face and sighed.  
“Can you help me?” followed by an even lower and desperate “Please.”

I looked up at Kevin and nudged his thigh slightly.  
_Come on, human, I know, we don’t like them, but we can’t let the fluff ball die, either, can we?_ I blinked at him. _I mean, can we…?!_

Kevin bit his lip and nodded curtly.  
“Alright, give me a second.”  
He grabbed his car keys, some dog treats, no, _my dog treats; all right, could you at least ask, Kev?!_, and slipped into his shoes. 

He turned around in the doorway and looked down at me, patiently sitting there and waiting for the leash.  
“Okay, kage, you stay here!”  
_No way, where Kevin goes, Elsa goes. I’m not leaving you with these two._  
I growled and rubbed my head against his thigh again, stepping on his shoes just to make sure he won’t leave without me. Kevin visibly argued with himself, before ruffling his head fur and nodding.  
“Alright, maybe you can calm Zeus down a little, mh?”  
_I wouldn’t go that far, but alright…_

Nico watched us in silence, something close to a smile spreading on his lips, before he led the way downstairs and out of the door. I already wanted to head for Kevin’s car parked in the asphalted back yard of the building, as Nico set off towards the building on the other side of the street.  
_Wait, you live just opposite of one another?!_  
Kevin didn’t answer, of course, but I was truly astonished. F1 was way smaller than I’d expected it to be, then.

We climbed up another staircase and I could see Nico’s hands trembling as he fumbled for his keys.  
We entered the flat and the smell hitting my nose made me frown. Normally, sick dogs smell, you know? Not necessarily bad, but you can just tell, that something isn’t right, their weakened and tired.  
Nico’s flat smelled of nothing else but Zeus and Nico, tasty leftovers of Nico’s dinner and the same detergent Kevin used.

“He’s in here.”  
Nico pointed at Zeus laying on the sofa and I could see his disappointment of his dog not having moved in the slightest since he left the house. 

Kevin and I both pretended we weren’t evading Nico’s space too much, as we entered the living room. Strange, for two males hating each other so much their rugs were quite similar and the cushions were exactly the same fabric, even the wall colour fitted with Nico’s being painted in just a tad lighter shade of green. 

I trudged towards the couch, having to bend between the low table and the sofa and took a closer look at the black and white animal. His eyes were bright and his nose looked rosy, his breathing _was_ shallow, but it could be because of the warmth in here… 

_Mh_, I made mentally and nudged his back lightly. He didn’t turn around. 

_"Mh… you alright?”_  
_”Yeah, sure, why’re you asking?”_

_Y- what?!_

“He looks sick.” Kevin stated petting Zeus’s flanks ever so lightly with his fingers being instantly swallowing by black fluff.  
“Yeah, he hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday…”

_”Yeah, because I’m fasting, idiot! It doesn’t just help you racing lunatics, you know?! Same rights for everyone!”_

_”Y- what?!”_  
Now he did turn around and huffed as if he was in pain – which he wasn’t, he was _perfectly fine_.

_”Aren’t they cute together?”_  
I followed his line of sight and looked at Nico and Kevin silently debating, which clinic they should take Zeus to.  
_”I’m at a loss of words…! You’re actually pretending to be sick, so Nico has to take you to the clinic?! What kind of dog are you?!”_  
_”For being at a loss of words, you talk a lot…”_  
He huffed again and whined theatrically, a sure sign for the humans in the room to look at Zeus worriedly, Nico borderline frightened. _Boys, he’s laughing, calm down_, I thought and rolled my eyes. 

_”And you’re wrong, too, brownie. Wait a moment and you’ll see.”_  
_”Elsa. My name is Elsa.”_  
_”Great, I’m Zeus. I’d greet you properly, but that might blow my cover.”_

I was still too shocked about that little cur’s shamelessness, to even register that Nico came over, lifted Zeus up and put him into a transportation box – doggy-bag.

“_See ya!”_, he chimed and I sat down for a moment to digest the news. Kevin saw and misread the situation once again (What was the matter with him today?!).

“This doesn’t look that good, huh?”  
I took a deep breath and said nothing.

The drive to the nearest vet was short and I was grateful for the quietude in the car.  
Kevin concentrated on the streets in stony silence, Nico bit his knuckles as if they were chewing toys and Zeus pretended to die any second.  
I sat in the back and sulked. Whatever his plan was, I didn’t get it and I didn’t want to be involved, either. I stared out of the window and watched the bright lights of “F1” flicker on every side of the road. 

We arrived at the clinic and Kevin spoke as calmly as possible to the female in white behind the counter and she seemed very confused, as she looked alternately at Kevin and at Nico and back again. But unlike in Roskilde, when we met the female, who nearly jumped at Kevin, she was more confused and strangely satisfied with the two blond humans and their two dogs standing in an animal clinic in the middle of the night. _humans and their strange behaviour_, I thought and ignored all four of them.

Once Kevin had registered Zeus, we sat in the empty waiting room, Nico with his arms resting on his thighs and eyes fixated on the transport box and Kevin fidgeting with some vexation booklet.  
Then Kevin sighed and looked up, staring at Nico with an expression, I’d never seen before.

That was the moment, when I got it.  
In the exact moment, when Kevin placed a hand on Nico’s shoulder and squeezed and the tall man snapped out of his trance and smiled at Kevin.  
I perked up my ears, because that was the most beautiful smile, I’d ever seen! Honest and open and thankful and without any hint of arrogance or aggression.  
Nico nodded and petted Kevin’s knee.  
“Thank you.”  
“It’s dogs. We’d do anything for them.”

_”See?”_ Zeus jeered from inside his box and I crouched down to look at him properly.  
_”So you pretend to be ill, so they spend time with each other. What makes you think this would work?”_  
_“I hate the women he brings along. And I like Kevin’s directness. I figured, it would work, since we dogs are the only things connecting them at the moment.”_  
I shook my head in disbelief.

_”You’re a terrible dog.”_  
_”I grew up with cats.”_ _Well, that explains a lot_, I thought, but couldn’t help myself and wagged my tail a little.  
Zeus instantly grumbled _”Hey, stop being so happy, I’m awfully sick here! Come on, we need to keep our play up.”_

_So it’s ours now_, I thought, but somehow this didn’t annoy me half as much, as it did earlier and a glance back at _our_ humans proves the point. 

So I didn’t answer and just kept looking at Nico and Kevin – busy having a quiet and calm conversation with Kevin’s hand still resting on Nico’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An extra-long Christmas treat for you folks! I hope, you had fun reading it! 
> 
> Have fun over the holidays, spend some time with your loved ones and get into 2020 healthy (and well fed, hehe) and well!
> 
> Love you guys, thank you so much for everything! <3


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